Direction

As children we are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Over the course of our growth into young adulthood, answers change from aspirations to realities.

I don't really remember ever having an answer to that question. As I grew older, it veered towards certain paths, but in my last two weeks as a thirty year old, I'm still working out the solution.

I've mentioned before how living abroad provides a strange kind of escape from real life. It's an alternate universe in many aspects of life, but it has also provided me an out from having to decide on the next step.

At thirty, I've decided it's time to focus on a bigger goal, and here are three reasons why I've finally decided to move in a forward direction, instead of zig-zagging all over (both physically and mentally).

1) If something isn't serving a purpose anymore, it's time to move on.

If I don't see value in something, I have an extremely hard time doing it. When a job starts to become stagnant, or I don't enjoy it anymore, I look for the next adventure (that gene must be related to the travel bug).

Living abroad is awesome, and I've transformed into a different person over the past four years because of it, but I'm stalling on what else living abroad has to teach me. And while I hope to always work internationally, I want it to be in something that excites me- which leads to reason number 2...

2) Do things you are passionate about.

This one is tricky, because of that pesky little thing called money. While we all wish we could be astronauts and live out our childhood dreams, we do have to pay the bills and ya know, eat food. For the past few years, I found a solution that let me live out my passion for travel, and still (kinda) pay the bills.

But naturally, as humans, we change and evolve. I'm so proud of all my travels, but now I want to be proud of my accomplishments in a different field- my job. I'm channeling all of the weird experiences I've had over the years into a new passion- grad school. And while I get to still live out my adventure abroad, I'm focusing on the next step for once. Maybe I'm actually growing up. [[insert shoulder shrugs here]]. Adjusting to school and work has been a tiring challenge but I thrive on change, hence reason number 3..

3) When life gets stagnant, change it.

Not that I would necessarily call living in Japan stagnant, but it has become comfortable. Which to me, is a word I now try to avoid. I get asked a lot now what I am going to do with my degree (which is still many semesters away), and just like when people used to ask me what's the next move with life, I still don't have a completely clear answer. I have a direction, to what yet- I don't know- but that open-ended answer is almost as exciting to me as planning a vacation (which is a hard feeling to emulate).

Who knows what the next step will be, but you can be sure it will still be as awkward as possible.

Life before abroad just seemed so limiting, so I'm taking on a new challenge to open up new paths for my future. And who knows if I'll ever be satiated with a job or location, but maybe all the change is what I am actually passionate about? Maybe my answer to, "What do you want to be?" is a constantly evolving answer.

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-Jessie