I never believe people when they tell me I am brave for moving abroad. For me, it seems brave to choose a life where you commit to settling down, working the same job, and all the responsibilities that come with being a real adult (house, kids, the old ball and chain). Living abroad to me is a way to escape a life that I've never been quite comfortable living. And although it is quite the escape, it is far from being a vacation.
It offers so many wonderful possibilities, but living abroad comes with an endless set of challenges. Without the support system of family and friends, it is extremely easy to get yourself down.
This week, I wanted to focus on a feeling I've been experiencing in my first weeks back here because I want this blog to be authentic to the experience, and not just some "everything is perfect when you travel" page.
The feeling: loneliness. Maybe it's just the after effects of spending all summer with loved ones, but I don't remember it hitting this hard before. Turning negatives into positives may be a challenge, but I'm going to rediscover the magic of the escape. So, now it's time to take my own advice..
If you're going to live abroad (and if you're not in a big city like Tokyo or Seoul), your options for companionship are going to be limited- especially if you don't speak the native language. Often your friend group stems from work circles, and then there is the whole other debacle if you so choose- dating.
I'm not going to sugarcoat it- you're going to feel lonely. Yes, the sad kind of lonely. When you're friends and family are sleeping half way around the world, and you haven't found those close connections in your town yet. You can't rely on other people to make you happy- it's all you now.
But then, you realize you have no obligation to anyone else. You don't have to spend your free time doing anything you don't want to. And that freedom becomes addicting.
The best way to fulfill yourself? Explore. You're not abroad just to work and sleep. Explore as much as possible, take the train to a random stop, comb Google maps for cities and towns nearby for interesting history or new foods- grab your headphones and just GO. This strange thing will happen where the excitement of your next adventure will wash away those lonely feelings, and you'll quite enjoy just the company of you and a new view.
My goal? This week, I vow to finish my grad school work before Saturday (oh yea, I'm going for my Master's in Marketing), and get out of town. I'm lucky to live in a country where the trains will take you to so many places, and Japan's beauty is pretty limitless.
Even if you aren't abroad, I challenge you to get out and explore somewhere new around you. A new hiking trail or museum. Maybe try going alone if that usually isn't your thing, and see how it challenges you, and then makes you feel braver.
-Jessie
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